7 Ways Internet Marketing is Like Thanksgiving :-)
by Antone Roundy | 4 Comments | Ethics, Podcast
I may not be posting for the next few days. Before signing off for the holiday, I thought I'd leave a Thanksgiving message -- 7 ways internet marketing is like Thanksgiving.
#1 Most of what we think we know about it is a myth.
The myths of Thanksgiving start with it's beginnings. Most of us think the first Thanksgiving was celebrated in 1621 at Plymouth, Massachusetts. But there's evidence that it started earlier elsewhere. And it hasn't been celebrated continuously ever since. It didn't become custom to celebrate on the last Thursday in November till the mid 20th century, and it didn't become a national holiday in the U.S. till 1941.
With the myths of internet marketing, I hardly know where to begin! How about the all-powerful importance of PageRank for SEO. A page's raw PageRank score used to be critical. But these days, it's only one of at least 200 factors that Google uses to choose what to rank at the top for any particular query.
#2 The main course will put your to sleep.
On Thanksgiving, it's the tryptophan in the turkey that's blamed for putting you to sleep (though I've heard that's one of those myths I mentioned above -- apparently there's not enough tryptophan in turkey to have much effect. It's overeating that makes us sleepy.)
With internet marketing courses, it's the stuffing that puts you to sleep -- all the filler material that people load their eBooks and videos with to make them look big enough to charge a lot for. Just this morning, I was watching a video that's about to be launched. The first ten minutes were about as interesting and informative as an extended definition of the word "the".
#3 They promise you Manhattan, but all you get is a handful of beads.
Okay, not only is there no real evidence that Manhattan was purchased for a few dollars worth of beads, but it's not even directly related to Thanksgiving. But this is internet marketing -- I'm supposed to stretch the story a little, right? :-)
The connection to internet marketing, on the other hand, is spot on and well documented in customer complaints about worthless products, as well as lawsuits against scammers.
#4 It doesn't matter whether you like yams or cranberry sauce, it's tradition.
There are certain things that get made for Thanksgiving dinner, and if you're young enough to have someone else dishing up your plate, you're gonna get 'em whether you like 'em or not.
Likewise, nobody stops to think what business model is right for you -- every wannabe guru will tell you that their secret is the one you need to hit the big time. And they're going to charge you the traditional price of $47 or $97 or $1,997 for it. The exact price depends more on how much "tradition" (ie. reputation, testimonials, etc.) they've got to back up their bluff than how many yams their latest offering delivers.
#5 They'll be selling you something else before the turkey hits your stomach.
Thanksgiving has it's Black Friday. Internet marketing has it's upsells, downsells, cross sells, and endless email promos.
#6 False Scarcity
At Thanksgiving dinner, you may not get all the pumpkin pie you want, but there's plenty for everyone to eat -- too much, in fact. The magic cornucopia never runs out of food.
In internet marketing, you'd better grab your copy of the latest course or tool before they're all gone or the sale ends. Oh, wait. IMers have a magic cornucopia too -- the timer or counter that never reaches zero.
And finally...
#7 One Word: Turkeys.
No explanation needed.
November 23rd, 2010 at 4:49 pm
What you say is very interesting, but you've got it all wrong. At this time of year it's important to have faith. Personally I believe everything I've ever been told about IM - and Thanksgiving too. I expect to be making 6 figures from multiple streams of income (each) very soon. Similarly, the natives helped out the hardy new settlers by offering them food and hospitality, and they've lived in peace and harmony ever since. How can you suggest otherwise?
November 23rd, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Maybe I should write a second post about the differences between IM and Thanksgiving:
#1: The native Americans helped the settlers. The "native" IMers scalp newbies...
BTW, it's easy to make a 6-figure income from just about any internet marketing system, as long as you count the dollar sign, decimal point, and period: $1.00.
March 10th, 2011 at 4:54 am
A little correction:
Internet marketing is like thanksgiving dinner....big and scary
:-)
March 16th, 2011 at 3:57 am
"...as long as you count the dollar sign, decimal point, and period: $1.00."
Why not make it an 8-figure income:
US$1.00. :-)